I uunderstand that you are feeling sorry for yourself. This is typical. When someone is diagnosed with birdshot, they usually go thru the same stages as death: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. This is not a straight line but cycling back and forth thru the various stages until you get to acceptance. You will get there, it will just take time.
Stop putting your life on hold and live it. You will have birdshot for the rest of your life, but it does not mean it will be active for the rest of your life. Your life is meant to live, birdshot is just another event that will give you something to talk about while you socialize!
The key component to birdshot treatment is this: you must educate yourself. Knowledge truly is power in this instance. We have an excellent group that has more members, and is easier to read at www.lefora.org
also, you can email me at my personal account @ firstname.lastname@example.org
ask any question you wish. I've had this disease since 1991. Its very very bad. And yet, I traipse off to work every day as a software engineer, and I have a very normal life. Its going to be okay, you just have to learn to be flexible and adapt.