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Problematic Behavior

Shelle Message
10 Apr 2009, 03:58 PM

What sorts of behavior issues are you dealing with, with your child(ren)? My daughter's behavior varies from day to day, when she's on routine and stays on schedule, she's very pleasant and obedient. If her routine gets screwy or she starts to get tired, any number of the following can and normally happen: Smart mouth, attitude Refusing to take meds Refusing to take a bath or put on pj's Yelling, screaming Hitting, kicking She will throw things, either at the wall or at you. I guess it just depends on the situation most times. We have had very mild problems to very severe issues. Just curious what everyone else goes through as far as behavior and stuff. -Shelle
Shelle Message
10 Apr 2009, 03:59 PM

She has also said she wished she were dead or had a different family. She will tell us she hates us, that she's going to call the cops, that she's going to run, not funny I know but after I posted the initial thread I remembered a few of these things.
Monika Message
10 May 2009, 08:08 PM

I am so glad to have found this site! I can see resemblance in the behaviour between your child and my daughter. I have also noticed more and more how demanding she is and how much she is using her epilepsy against me. When is time to wake up to go to school all she tells me is that she is having an episode so it takes us at least a hour to get out of bed. she is able to run my life, she knows what gets to me and uses it: She tells me that I don't love her, that I don't care about her, that she will be happier without me. She is VERY disobedient and defiant. But, not with other people, just with me. She seems like an angel when she is with people she doesn't know, but she drives all the closest people to her mad. Can this be the condition or is it just that she really doesn't like me?
Shelle Message
10 May 2009, 10:06 PM

Hi Monika! Honestly, I think alot of it has to do with the condition. The DCS along with the seizure disorder can also cause numerous other issues both physically, mentally and emotionally. Hormones come into play with the condition as well, especially if your daughter is going through puberty or the onset of. The best thing that I have found with my daughter is to be stern and disciplined with her, without being harsh and hateful. It was tough in the beginning, trying to cope with the outbursts and not knowing how to deal with them. After many meltdowns of my own, i finally said enough was enough. It wasn't an overnight success, actually is still a work in progress, however I'm seeing a huge improvement in her behavior. She has rules that are required of her, if she breaks a rule she either gets grounded or time-out. Spankings no longer work as she is getting older. If I ever have to ask her to do something, I only give her two options. To do what's being asked, or to go to her room and sit until she can come out and apologize. Period. If need be, use a kitchen timer. Tell her that she can't come out until the timer goes off. As you go along, increase the amount of time she has to sit alone. I have also started positive reinforcement. Rewarding good behavior and manners more so than chastizing the bad ones. This helps a great deal too. Something as simple as getting to play in my makeup or getting to pick a movie to watch, doesn't have to be extravagant. Try a few of these things, give it a couple of weeks and see if anything improves. Even if it's something small, it's still improvement. Let us know how your progress goes. I hope some of these help! Hang in there, we are all experiencing the same issues in one form or another. Have you gotten your email added to the group yet? Most of us email outside of this forum as well, drop me a line if you would like, Look forward to hearing from you!!! (big hugs)
Monika Message
18 May 2009, 12:40 PM

It has been very difficult to find other people dealing with this condition. I would like to get more information on all the other members’ experiences. My daughter has been on a very treacherous journey and I with her. She has changed so many medications, but nothing seems to help, in the last year things have been getting worse, not only her behaviour, her epilepsy but also it feels as if we can no longer do anything together. Please contact me. My email address is:
deebiker Message
19 May 2009, 12:46 PM

Hi Everybody, Welcome Monica to our little group. I think that it is a matter of learning how to deal with your daughters behaviour. As Shelle was saying reinforce the positive behaviour rather than the negative. When she gets attention from her negative behaviour she will continue to be BOLD just to get the attention. We went through the same so I know exactly how you can be very very frustrating. It can also be very difficult to stop yourself giving out to her rather than ignoring the bad behaviour. Our daughter was in a similar position so we went to see a psychologist so as we could get the tools to deal with her behaviour. So signs that for the last two months she has been a different child. She has really been very good. I also think that it could have a lot to do with her seizure activityand what effect the seizures have on the brain.......our daughter has only been seizure free since February....the longest in three years, before that the longest was two weeks seizure free. Certainly our daughters problem behaviour comes in cycles, we are not sure what sets it off but we both can see elements of the problem behaviour returning at the moment. So we are really trying to reinforce the positive and we are doing our best to ignore the negative You were saying that she has been on a number of meds. why did they change them? or why do they keep changing them?? We were told that if you keep changing the med. from one to another that it will be harder to go back to one of those meds. should the need arise i.e. the children will become immune. So I am surprised that they didn't increase the dose rather than change the meds. If you want to email and have a chat any time feel free....... ..... I have everyones email address. Talk soon, Dave & Niamh Dublin
Monika Message
27 May 2009, 09:27 PM

Hello, I have taken your advise and really have been working hard on reinforcing positive behaviour. Things seem to be getting a bit better. My daughter seems to react quite well in working towards a reward every day. Well... not perfect, but I can see your point and it does work much better then just continuously telling her off. :) Thank you all! In regards to her regular change of medication... unfortunately it is necessary. Her epilepsy seems adapt to the medication and does not improve, she either develops side effects or the seizure become uncontrollable, we increase the dosage, things get better for a few weeks ... but then the cycle starts again, with new side effects or a new type of seizure. I am very happy with the doctors and every decision made we take time to discuss and look at the options together. She is on Topiramate and carbomazipane... sorry if misspelled.